2020 in review
Purchasing products to fill a void is a losing battle from the start. No products will give you the ~feel~ or the ~discipline~ to seek out that value that you feel like providing.
2020 was a year where I fell deep into pessimism, and combatting it was not at the forefront; optimism was not a priority.
For Thanksgiving, I saw my girlfriend, who I left at home in Florida for a Washington job. When I visited, I felt happier, healthier, and like I had a sense of purpose again. Why is this a vacation feeling? This should be the way we live every day.'
As soon as I landed back in Seattle, I felt the same gloom, depression, anxiety, hatred, pessimism. It was this moment where I decided, "I'm moving back."
I purchased a one-way ticket to Florida for Christmas Night and spent the next month offloading all of my possessions. I moved to Florida with a week's worth of clothes, my laptops, the very few things in my life that provided value. I had accumulated so much bullshit and such little happiness.
Now that I'm here, I feel right again. I wake up and go to sleep with gratitude. I am optimistic also. I seek no satisfaction or validation in the inanimate objects surrounding me. I am ready for life and experience.
So what changed?
Choosing money, location, and the hope for "success" over your tribe will ruin you if the timing is right.
After moving in with my girlfriend and purging my possessions, I wake up happy. Instead of thinking about what I may use, consume, or take, I'm pondering - "How will I provide value to others? How can I continue to stop taking and give more? What do I have to give?"
I am happy to start fresh. I am ready to provide and to innovate with peers. This year, I am prepared to give and not take.